Monday, January 21, 2008

Something's Brewing...

That's what I generally say when a whole bunch of strange, surprising, intense and generally weird things happen in a short period of time. This was one of those weekends, I had a strong feeling about it from the get go, actually starting early in the week, and it did deliver, though as usual, not quite how I expected. I had another one of those "my worst fear" feelings about this weekend, which I have learned to really listen to, because in the last 5 months or so they have almost always been true. I did a lot to prepare myself, much of which worked wonders. Turns out my worst fear came true, or almost true, but I only had to deal with it remotely. Both damned and spared in the midst of a lot of unrelated astonishment and delight.

I was truly happy pretty much all Saturday, which was great and I had one of those days with which the summer was lousy, where multiple costume changes and destinations and purposes all kind of ran in a flurry together, always a little late, but with excellent results none the less. I don't really give a shit about Saturdays anymore, but this was a real, old-fashioned, early (for me) morning to late night party Saturday, full of fun, wherein I yelled at pro-Lifers while dressed in tampons, performed a stage-warming ritual in fancy lingerie and a transparent dress, celebrated Dolly Parton's birthday with a bunch of queers, and then went to a house party to give an ex a late solstice present. I had great, beautiful company all day, got exercise, looked consistently but variably weird and generally had a ball.

Today was a lovely affectionate late rise, long volunteer training, and the Sex Workers Art Show. Someone I once pegged as my possible wife was one of the performers.

Amongst all this a slew of unexpected communiques and correspondences from hazy distances, both physical and especially emotional, made their way to me. As well as a solid handful of strange coincidences. And more than one conversation initiated by another about this blog. I am left kind of reeling, over-stimulated and confused and feeling 50 flavors at once. I have an image of an off-kilter, beautiful but exaggerated carousel in my head. These times always feel significant but in a trapped-in-the-honeycomb sort of way, I can never really tell what shape the hive is or will be taking seen from the outside or from above.

Maybe my new theory about these things are that the compression points, those days that are so full of events and symbols and strangeness and joy and hurt and action that they leak into a brain flood and leave me scrambling for a dinghy of comprehension, and oar of direction, these times are the bits where the material bunches because the seam is about to change its course.
Like bones which have outgrown their muscles, maybe the life path pushes against its new growth, new turns, old territories sometimes, and the feeling of it is intense and confusing.
That was just so many very different metaphors right plop on top of each other. Obviously another sign. No, but seriously, this shit is BIZARRO all up over the place, every which way but loose, including loose, tasty, and gut-churning.

Maybe I just need to get out of the Mission.
Maybe things haven't been quite lively enough lately, so its all coming at once.
Maybe I just really need to go to sleep.


v said...

Your journal is a wonderful and complicated creature. Thanks for letting us (your previously unannounced lurkers) read.
In what must be another odd coincidence
>this post
of goth kids at the Disneyland carousel on Bat Day popped up along with your entry - a poignant image (and perhaps some comfort.)

Sadie Lune said...

Thanks v! Just out of curiosity, I'm wondering do you know me? No need to reveal your identity, I'm just wondering if strangers are reading this. The link didn't work, but I looked the picture up on Boing Boing. I love that little boy. I think he may be the little boy that lives inside of me.

v said...

Yes :) We are acquainted and met last week at a reading. I emailed you at the gmail address linked on your blog with my identity.

I'm happy the image speaks to you so!

Reg said...

Pretty lady Sadie,
You feeling forecast for this weekend was 'spot on' (but When you've got the squid by the throat). I knew when I left work Friday night that this little scorpion was in for high emotions and one hell of a bumpy ride, (as the song says: the tone of your voice was a warning that you don’t love me anymore).
Life these days seems to never disappoint, does it?
The beautifully expressive description of your roller coaster ride of culminating and overloading emotions is what caught my eye and pulled me in to your world.
Sigh… It's nice to know I'm not the only scorpion caught in this cities blinding sand storm.