Something's Brewing...

That's what I generally say when a whole bunch of strange, surprising, intense and generally weird things happen in a short period of time. This was one of those weekends, I had a strong feeling about it from the get go, actually starting early in the week, and it did deliver, though as usual, not quite how I expected. I had another one of those "my worst fear" feelings about this weekend, which I have learned to really listen to, because in the last 5 months or so they have almost always been true. I did a lot to prepare myself, much of which worked wonders. Turns out my worst fear came true, or almost true, but I only had to deal with it remotely. Both damned and spared in the midst of a lot of unrelated astonishment and delight.

I was truly happy pretty much all Saturday, which was great and I had one of those days with which the summer was lousy, where multiple costume changes and destinations and purposes all kind of ran in a flurry together, always a little late, but with excellent results none the less. I don't really give a shit about Saturdays anymore, but this was a real, old-fashioned, early (for me) morning to late night party Saturday, full of fun, wherein I yelled at pro-Lifers while dressed in tampons, performed a stage-warming ritual in fancy lingerie and a transparent dress, celebrated Dolly Parton's birthday with a bunch of queers, and then went to a house party to give an ex a late solstice present. I had great, beautiful company all day, got exercise, looked consistently but variably weird and generally had a ball.

Today was a lovely affectionate late rise, long volunteer training, and the Sex Workers Art Show. Someone I once pegged as my possible wife was one of the performers.

Amongst all this a slew of unexpected communiques and correspondences from hazy distances, both physical and especially emotional, made their way to me. As well as a solid handful of strange coincidences. And more than one conversation initiated by another about this blog. I am left kind of reeling, over-stimulated and confused and feeling 50 flavors at once. I have an image of an off-kilter, beautiful but exaggerated carousel in my head. These times always feel significant but in a trapped-in-the-honeycomb sort of way, I can never really tell what shape the hive is or will be taking seen from the outside or from above.

Maybe my new theory about these things are that the compression points, those days that are so full of events and symbols and strangeness and joy and hurt and action that they leak into a brain flood and leave me scrambling for a dinghy of comprehension, and oar of direction, these times are the bits where the material bunches because the seam is about to change its course.
Like bones which have outgrown their muscles, maybe the life path pushes against its new growth, new turns, old territories sometimes, and the feeling of it is intense and confusing.
That was just so many very different metaphors right plop on top of each other. Obviously another sign. No, but seriously, this shit is BIZARRO all up over the place, every which way but loose, including loose, tasty, and gut-churning.

Maybe I just need to get out of the Mission.
Maybe things haven't been quite lively enough lately, so its all coming at once.
Maybe I just really need to go to sleep.

On the Verge

Phase 1 of pseduo-adulthood: done! ( or almost done.) I can't wait to see the loopings and whorls and strangeness and surprises and re-connections and new learnings that life will present in phases 2, 3, and 4. Really. I am so excited! What crazy plot-twists will the next ten years bring? How will it shake out for me and those I know peripherally and intimately? What new height of bizarro will be reached!? I think and wonder and get little-kid hopped up with joyful anticipation fairly frequently these days. At least as often as I freak out about my age and achievement level. Who knew I would ever be this passionately enthusiastic about life? Even in the painful times its so intriguing to guess what might happen next and then wait and compare with what does. I very much hope I don't die before I get to see how the rest of the story goes. I really just can't wait.

My horoscopes this week:

Why does human anatomy include the organ known as the appendix? For centuries, doctors have been unable to determine its purpose. Most have decided it's unnecessary, a vestigial structure left over from an earlier stage of evolution. But recent research suggests the conventional wisdom has to be revised. In fact, the appendix seems to protect and regenerate the good bacteria that live in the intestines. I predict that you're on the verge of a metaphorically comparable discovery, Scorpio. Something you have always considered to be useless or irrelevant will reveal its value.
-Rob Brezsny, Free Will Astrology

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

Scorpio, you are on the verge of a massive shift, and it's deeply emotional. It would be easy for you not to grasp this and to simply skate the surface of your emotional pond, but we urge you to love not just yourself but also the people around you enough to take it to a deeper level.

-Jessica Lanyadoo and Michelle Tea, Double Team Psychic Dream

Wouldn't It Be Funny....

if by some bizzaro twist of fate, this thing actually ended up landing me a husband? Though boys aren't currently on my horizon, that's just the sort of ridiculous shenanigan my life would get itself up to.


By the way, has anyone (besides Sherilyn) noticed that I *still* don't really know how to use semi-colons properly? Thanks a lot, fancy private school.


Off to my lovely, lucky, blessed new bed! Night Night!